New Year Reflections

Written By Lois Ingber

When the calendar flips to a new year, it is common to mark this turning point as an opportunity to make a change in one’s life. Some make well-intentioned New Year Resolutions, some do so half-heartedly expecting at some point to fail, and some are simply not interested.  Studies have shown that about 80% of resolutions are abandoned by February. This 1-min. video offers some tips to help those making resolutions to succeed. Even with these tips, however, it is easy to become discouraged and give up.

One strategy to avoid becoming discouraged in achieving a goal is to re-frame our perspective. The helpful tips in the video come from the prefrontal cortex, in other words, are cognitive and solution-focused - and are indeed important.   However, when we combine cognitive goals with the ‘brain’ in our heart and gut, it builds connection with ourselves and others, increasing the chances of success.
Challenge:

1.    Make a list of 3-5 things you “have” to do using the sentence starter “I have to… (“I have to…get more organized.).  Now re-write your sentences using these starters:

“I want to…   I choose to…   It is important to me that…   I will…”

2.    Make a list of 3-5 things you “can’t’” do using the sentence starter “I can’t… (“I can’t…lose weight.).  Now re-write your sentences using these starters:

“I have chosen not to…  I don’t…  I haven’t yet tried hard enough to…  It just isn’t that important to me to…”

3.    What did you notice when you re-wrote your sentences?  What are you learning about yourself?

With acknowledgment to Laurie Prusso, Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, for the activity, “Why We Get Stuck.”Information about the 3 brains can be found here: https://www.mbraining.com/

Lois Ingber

LOIS INGBER, Behavioral Counselor, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Positive Discipline Lead Trainer.  Lois holds a Bachelor Degree in Sociology from UCLA and a Masters in Social Work degree from SDSU where her focus area was Children, Youth, and Families.  Lois has worked in social service, private practice, hospital, clinic, and school settings, most recently for seventeen years at Rady Children’s Outpatient Psychiatry providing school-based counseling services.  Lois was a Community Montessori and Dehesa parent prior to joining the staff in 2016 and brings this perspective to her role.   Lois is responsible for providing education, collaboration, and support implementing the Positive Discipline model and social/emotional competencies in the Learning Center and home learning environments, in line with Element’s philosophy of self-directed learning and the development of mastery, autonomy, and purpose for students and the adults who serve as their guides.

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